Ways to annoy people

Jump to Comments

1. Specify that your drive-thru order is ‘to go.’
2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will ’swipe your grub.’
4. Name your dog ‘Dog.’
5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions ‘to keep them tuned up.’
6. Reply to everything someone says with ‘that’s what you think.’
7. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your ‘astronaut training.’
8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of soap
9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
10. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you ‘like it that way.’
11. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
12. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
13. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
14. Repeat everything someone says as a question.
15. Write ‘X – BURIED TREASURE’ in random spots on all of someone’s road maps.
16. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: ‘Do you hear that?’, ‘What?’, ‘Never mind, it’s gone now.’
17. Stand over someone’s shoulder, mumbling as they read.
18. Ask people what gender they are.
19. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
20. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
21. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
22. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
23. Change your name to ‘John Aaaaasmith’ for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it’s a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each ‘a.’
24. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
25. Chew on pens that you’ve borrowed.
26. Sing along at the opera.
27. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your ‘imaginary friend.’
28. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
29. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about ‘psychological profiles.’
30. Make appointments for the 31st of Feburary.
31. Invite lots of people to other people’s parties.
32. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
33. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
34. Practice making fax and modem noises.
35. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
36. Disassemble your pen and ‘accidentally’ flip the ink cartridge across the room.
37. Say random numbers while someone is counting.
38. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
39.Wave to strangers.
40. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
41. type only in lowercase.
42. dont use any punctuation either
43. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
44. Sing the theme to the Batman television show as loudly as you can, over and over and over..
45. Tell people their accent isn’t fooling anyone.
46. Drum on every available surface.
47. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
48. Set alarms for random times.
49. Have conversations with friends in public consisting of ‘Beeeep bip bip beeeep bip..’
50. Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
51. Begin all your sentences with ‘Ohh la la!’
52. Leave someone’s printer in compressed-italic-landscape mode.
53. Pay for your dinner with coins.
54. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
55. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
56. Wear a cape that says ‘Magnificent One.’
57. Drive half a block.
58. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
59. ‘Forget’ the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a ‘real hoot.’
60. Stare at blank Television
61. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
62. Ask to ‘interface’ with someone.
63. Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as ’sticky wicket isn’t cricket.’
64. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a ‘magic picture.’
65. Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
66. Never make eye contact.
67. Never break eye contact.
78. Occasionally bark in a high-pitched voice.
69. When in a conversation, look out the window, then say ‘Wait, start over. I wasn’t paying attention.’
70. Call into work and tell them you have something better to do today.
71. Buy goldfish and ask the clerk if they come with chips.
72. Sample every flavor of ice cream and tell the clerk what you don’t like about each one.
73. Wear odd shoes.
74. Disagree strongly with everything anybody says.
75. Throw stones at people walking past your house.
76. Keep changing the TV channel every two seconds.
77. Whenever anyone says something, laugh loudly as if they have just told and extremely funny joke.
78. Pretend you have gone completely deaf.
79. Walk into people’s houses, go straight to the fridge without saying hello, and help yourself to their food.
80. Speak so quietly that people always have to get you to repeat it.
81. Play the electric guitar very loudly and badly, then when the neighbors ask you to turn it down, play even louder. When they come round to complain again, say, ‘Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you asked me to turn it up!
82. Secretly learn to play the piano, then go to a friend’s house who has a piano. Claim you’ve never played before then play perfectly for the first time. Then say, ‘I guess I must kinda be a natural.’
83. Down a can of Coke in one drink and then burp loudly.
84. E-mail Microsoft to tell them about bugs in Windows XP that aren’t actually there.
85. Continuously mumble during a conversation.
86. Walk up to someone eating. Lean over and stare at them intently until they notice. Continue to do so until they ask what you’re doing. Reply, ‘I’ve been watching you eat for the last 30 seconds.. You’re weird!’ Leave the restaurant.
87. When walking, talk to yourself constantly.
88. Move people’s bookmarks ahead three pages when they aren’t looking.
89. Call the operator. When asked, ‘Can I help you?’ reply, ‘No thanks, just browsing.’
90. Add blank entries to lists, to make it look like it’s longer.
91. Stand on a busy corner. Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look.
92. At random times in a conversation, say ‘Hi,’ ‘Hello Sir, how are you?’ or ‘Have a good day, thank you.’
93. Walk up to random strangers insisting you know the person.
94. When a cop pulls you over, when they step up to your car, drive forward slowly and make them walk. Especially if it’s raining.
95. When at an ATM, try to have a conversation with it, or pretend it stole your card. (This works best if there’s a line.)
96. Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. ‘I’m Bob, nice to meet you…’ ‘PROVE IT!’)
97. Sharpen All your pencils to the same size EXACTLY.
98. Answer every question with another question. As soon as one of you says a statement instead of a question, shout ‘I win!’.
99. Bring a portable CD player to a concert and listen the CD because you insist that it is ‘Just better quality’
100. Press the ‘power’ button on on someone’s computer or keyboard when they’re almost finished typing up a long essay, story etc. Apologize sincerely, claiming that you thought it was the focus adjustment.
101. Recite shakespearian poetry to everyone you meet.
102. Every time someone asks you to do something or says something to you ask ‘Is that a threat?’
103. Also, when riding up an elevator with a stranger, start singing a song that everyone knows, then expect them to start singing too. If they do not start singing, insist, ‘Everyone knows that song. Are you stupid?’
104. While walking make car noises loudly (Such as changing gears).
105. Whenever somebody says something, ask what the simplest word they said means. When they explain, ask what the simplest word in their explanation means. Repeat this for the entire conversation.
106. Go up to a someone and say, ‘Are you annoyed by irrelevant questions?’ And then walk away very quickly.
107. Finish each sentence with ‘Monkey See, Monkey Do’.
108. Click your mechanical pencils or your pens during a test in school.
109. Pretend you are invisible.
110. Convince people you are deaf and talk in an incredibly fake sign language.
111. Continuously open your briefcase or bag and say into it, ‘Have you got enough air in there?’
112. While going down in an elevator scream, ‘AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!! WE’RE GONNA DIE!!!’ for no apparent reason.
113. Explain alien in detail to someone, and when they don’t believe you, accuse them of being one in disguise.
114. Whenever someone finishes a sentence say, ‘And then what happened?’
115. Send people annoying chain forwards with outrageous consequences like ‘If you don’t send this to 300 people in 4 seconds you will die instantly’ and then insist that it is true and it happened to your uncle.
116. When shopping push an invisible trolley and make loud squeaky noises.
117. Walk up to random people and ask them, very seriously, ‘Do you know the muffin man?’
118. Clear your throat every three or four words while speaking.
119. Look at your hand in amazement and say, ‘Whoa, I never knew I had this!’
120. While driving if you see a ‘How am I driving’ bumper sticker, call the number and inform the operator that the driver is doing a great job.
121. When driving with companions in the car, every few seconds slam on the brakes and insist that a squirrel ran in front of you.
122. Whenever anybody says anything to you. Respond by saying, ‘I know.’
123. Continue to ask someone, ‘Is this annoying? Is this annoying?’ over and over and over.
124. Tap someone on the shoulder repeatedly.
125. Begin every sentence with, ‘By the Gods!’
126. When you’re in an argument, no matter what it’s about, keep yelling ‘I don’t see your name on it!’.
127. Go to a shoe store and try on every shoe, then say that you aren’t interested in buying shoes and leave.
128. Walk around with a plastic sword and shield and tell strangers ‘I must take revenage on you for the death of my friend’.
129. Put the wrong date and year on the papers you hand in to your teachers.
130. Get two cell phones and talk to yourself on them in front of other people.
131. Make a loud and abrupt noise when nobody is looking, then face the other direction when everybody looks your way, pretending the sound came from behind you.
132. Lend a book to someone, but staple the middle together.
133. lend someone a book, but tear out the climax.
134. When making a list use the same number twice.
135. Spell easy words wrong.
136. Pronunce people’s names wrong everytime you meet them.
137. Laugh at everything they say.
138. Never laugh at a joke they say.
139. When talking to someone, tilt your head to the side.
140. Sending this list to all of your friends through email.
141. Repeat” huh uh.. huh uh.. huh uh OH I SEE! ” at people’s conversation in reply
142. Loop and sing a song for 100000000000000 times.
143. Pretend you are a japanese infront of a sales person but when someone calls you speak in english
144. Take upnose pictures of urself and mass send to everyone using bluetooth
145. WHen ppl takes ur belongings ; snatch it back and hiss ” my preccioouuuss “
146. Start every sentence with “in accordance with the prophecy”. (it is really very very irritating)
147. while drinking tea, insist that you ’see the Grim’. Especially if you’re using teabags.
148.Insist that people address you as “your royal highness”. Ignore them unless they do so.
149. Wear a black cape and randomly say to someone ,” I am ur father”, in Hokkien
150. with ur grp of friends, u guys walk as per normal. then suddenly all of u freeze like time has stopped
151. with ur grp of friends, stare at the sky, pointing and mumbling. then aft u get some pple to look, u guys sneak away
152. scream ” OMG A COCKROACH ” and start running around when there is not a cockroach in sight
153. Call people. When they pick up, say “Hello. It is I. *insert name*” Hang up. This works well if, instead of using your real name, you use an obviously fake name like Wallaby Bingbangboom the twenty third.
154. Go around shaking people’s hands and wishing them a Happy New Year really loudly. This works especially well if it ISN’T anywhere near the new year
155. Go to X japan concern and scream ” OMG I LOVE YOU ARASHI! “

Anyone has anything else to add? xDD

2 Comments

Filed under My posts